when i was 16 i was really mature. most kids are at that age. little changes from then on except for experience and lessons. some people learn lessons and others don't.

i have a problem with my sister drinking constantly. and she's the total opposite of me. if i had a little brother or sister i would be like their best friend, look forward to helping them anytime and just be awesome. hell my best friends are like siblings to me. but nooooooooooope i don't get any of that from my older sister. i'm european and have european class: what that means is i'm respectful of myself, the beauty the world holds, the magic of life, the magic of religion, cultures, how BAD people are living in other parts of the world compared to me, and i won't be on a girl i don't truly care for nor will i date someone just for kicks. my sister on the other hand has more american standards: loves to have fun, partying, drinking/keggers, live life attitude, date one guy after another (lost count), doesn't respect parents or care much for money, is crazy and pretty much ruined my GPA in high school and any chance of getting to university right out of high school. i've turned it into a "hello and goodbye" relationship and i don't need anything more than that.

...has anything changed from the 100 talks we've had? NOPE. have her habits changed? NOPE. did i "save" her from anything? NOPE. everything is just as it was then as it is now except worse and i've not been caring at all. bad way to put it but really my last straw was like 3 years ago and it was too much for me so i just accepted that our relationship is nothing more then "Hello" and "Goodbye".

i really hope your brother has more respect for you than my sister does for me, but all i can say is truthfully i've heard many things, have family friends whos kids ended their lives and whos families lives were devoured by their truest kids being killed in car accidents or killed by rare a bone-eating disease, mothers and fathers died from cancer and mother left to raise and financially support radical teens by herself.

all i can say it's their lives and not yours. your siblings will either listen to you, or rebel against you. it's chemical, genetical, and cultural inheritance and in my case they just never grow up and others just have more respect for themselves, their blood, and the world.

i suggest you take your lil bro on a tour out to the hospital one day, then to the emergency room and sit there for a while. maybe visit the children's hospital. or maybe make him watch a movie about suffering, war torn, disease infested, refugee life in Africa. Hell 1 (ONE) trip to Auschwitz, and he'll be sucking his little thumb.

 

standing in my shoes makes it hard to say much here. I get where everyone in this thread is coming from to many extents. Like HKC, I have siblings that have had their bouts with drinking and even cocaine and let them destroy the better parts of their lives. Like majik I have lost friends. Like adam I played with drugs myself and I still do to this day. I guess thats why its harder to speak, my shoes are still dirty. Who knows if I will ever clean them up, but I live in a perspective most users don't. Maybe I'm getting old enough I may just be ready to kick it soon. I live in a perspective where I just wish I never touched the drug for one reason. It's my best and worse case scenario basically for my drug of choice, pot. The best part of my scenario is I am very successful and recognized in my career and industry. I have accomplished a lot career wise and exceeded much further then most my age. However I don't believe that pot helped me any, I only believe that I didn't let pot get in the way. That's the best case scenario for a user right?? You get to use it and have your fun and expect no remorse or recourse. But its not the best case, it is infact the worst case. You get away with all this and then your stuck in a habitual cycle that governs your waste allowance. No your continually spending money on something that wont ever give you a cent back...this is worst case scenario. If I calculated just the last three years, my habit cost at least $7,800. Think what I could have bought with that, I do. I waste a lot of money generally speaking I must admit, but even if you cut that down in half its ridiculus.

Let your brother know what he could be getting himself into. There isn't any reason to experiment. I had done almost all the drugs out there by the time I was 21 until I finally realized that those feelings that all users claim as the reason to take the drugs, those same feelings exist and occur without the drugs. I have a brother three years older then me that has never tried any drug, not one, not ever in his entire life. I have four older brothers and I can only say that about one, I wish I could walk in those shoes. He never tried to tell me not to mess with drugs or ever showed a care either way. I guess I wonder what would have helped from him? It's kinda hard because my other brothers who were much older were just contributing to the use. The thing that would help the most though I think is time together. I know that may sound weird but you need to do things with him. Get him into hobbies that hopefully don't redirect him back towards drugs or drug users. Remember if he is enjoying time and has something on his mind to look forward to doing or finishing then he won't be as ready or eager to say yes to something that would get in the way. The talking is great but talk is cheap, get out the point and let your brother know why and what you want. Let him know that your gonna help him through it. If he completely shells up or rebels from you then step back some and apologize. Let him know your not trying to push him around or away. This can be difficult, I tried to help my brother when he went through his third major cocaine binge and we almost fought because I was taking the I'll beat the shit out of you approach. This one won't work, if I did beat his ass then I would have a drug addicted brother who was afraid to talk to me, you don't want that especially if your the only person he has to go to.
Just be careful cause some drugs can actaully make someone a person who they would never let themself be and even without being on the drug itself. Some can make a user selfish enough to sacrifice his family, friends, work or even himself. Play it safe and think the worst of your brothers experiment and tread the lightest. YOU can only help so much, so little really. But that little bit of help could be what makes the difference in your brothers future. Good luck man and many props on being a good brother

 

+1 on majikTib i am 16 my brother is 23, i do care about what he thinks/look up to him and if your little bro does he would respect what you say and(if not right away) understand that your trying to help, sometimes small hints can be better than just talking. my brother did things and he and i both know how hes grown wich has helped me. show him the better side of not doing it and it will eventually work.. good luck man, is a hard topic

 

you wouldn't be ratting him out if your mom already found out would you?

talk to him. make him get his act together.

 

As much as you say he hates the One on One talk....do it anyway. Make him feel uncomfortable. I busted my 15 year old sister, and could have ratted her out my parents, but took it into my own hands. She respected the fact that I gave her a chance to come clean, but I warned her that if anything happens, or I catch her again, its game over.

She hated the one on one thing, but she knew that I'd lost respect for her because of it. And I made it very clear that if she didn't clean up her act, I'd be sure to cut her out just like I did with all the people I used to hang out with. They all started with weed, the moved onto other things. So I warned her that I would cut her out just as quickly as them.

Its tough love, but if you don't do it...they just won't get the point.

Try and involve your brother with things that you do. He's 16 so I'm sure you could get him hooked on cars. I've taught my sister how to wax properly, and had her help my wire up LEDs and stuff. Not only are you showing them what they can be involved with, and how its somewhat rewarding, but you're also keeping them away from the drugs and whatever else they may be into.