>One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his
>buddy
> Bubba driving a brand new pickup.
> Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
>
> "Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?"
>
> "Bobby Sue gave it to me," Bubba replied.
>
> "She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a
>new truck?"
>
> "Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened... We were
>driving out on
> County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off
>the road,
> put the truck into 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods.
>She parked
> the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said,
>'Bubba, take
> whatever you want.' So, I took the truck!"
>
> "Bubba, you a smart man! Them clothes woulda never fit you."
>

-------------------------------------------------

>Dear Abby:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > > > I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next
> > month.
> > > > >My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great
> > > > >and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and
> > > > >invited
> > me
> > > > >to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a
> > > > >bit beyond what we had expected it to be.
> > > > >
> > > > >When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to
> > just
> > > > >under a hundred ... then she floored me.
> > > > >
> > > > >She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before
> > > > >that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then said to meet
> > > > >her in her bedroom. On her way out of the living room, she said
> > > > >that I knew where the front door was if I didn't want to go through
> >
> > > > >with it.
> > > > >
> > > > >I stood there for a couple of minutes and finally decided what I
> > > > >had
> > to
> > > > >do. I headed out the front door and there, leaning against my car
> > > > >was her husband, my future father-in-law. He was smiling. He
> > > > >explained
> > that
> > > > >they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to
> > their
> > > > >little girl. He congratulated me on passing their little test.
> > > > >
> > > > >Abby, should I tell my fiancee' what her parents did, and that I
> > > > >thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my
> > > > >character? Or, should I keep the whole thing to myself,
> > > > >particularly the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car
> > > > >was to get a condom?
> > > > >
> > > > >Uncertain.
> >
> >
------------------------------------------------

1.---The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
2.---You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.
3.---You're been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4.---You think a woman who is "out-of-your-league" bowls on a different
night.
5.---Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people."
6.---You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
7.---Anyone in your family ever died right after saying: "Hey, watch this."
8.---You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
9.---Your junior prom had a daycare.
10.---Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
11.---You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are: "Gentlemen,
start your engines."
12.---You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
wheels.
13.---The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how
much gas is in it.
14.---You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
15.---One of your kids was born on a pool table.
16.---You need one more hole punched in your cards to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.
17.---You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against
it.
18.---You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.
19.---Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
20.---Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.

 

The top20 was for what ???
"You know you're a redneck when :" ?

I need to know !

 

ooops, but yep!
frown