thank you so much everyone. many of these things i've already come to realize and talked to her about. but what you said majik:

"Explain to your girlfriend (as I'm sure you already have) that you were embarassed by it, realized it was a mistake, and wish you could take it back if you could. You didn't want to run her off, and were afraid of what she might think of you if she had known. You were still in the "I want to impress you" stage of your relationship and didn't want to take any risks of pushing her away."

i explained how insanely embarrassed i was, told her it was by far easily the biggest mistake of my life having anything to do with the other girl and lying about it, and that i lied because i was truly scared i would lose the best thing thats happened to me. we completed each other, and i know for a fact dating her is the happiest i have been.

after the initial fight, when she had known only part of what happened she agreed to take me back if i would do what i need to do for us. i needed to tell her the rest of what happened before we met, and a couple hours after she took me back she asked me if there was anything else when i was going to tell her anyway. so she felt like i was going to keep the rest of that information from her and be the coward i was before. it was bad timing. we both still love each other indescribably, and now if i can build her trust back she says shell consider taking me back. this is a guess a 2nd or 3rd chance, but its up to me to prove it to her that i can do this. she wants me to so badly and i'm stopping at nothing to make things right

 

IMO she's making a bigger deal out of this than it is..

Of course you are not going to tell her up front stuff in your past you are embarrassed about.. or stuff about other girls in your past.. this is stuff that could have turned her away before shit even began.. "Hi my name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."

Yeah you lied but it's not like you were doing something shady behind her back, or lying to her about stuff that was going on.. Some things are better left unsaid - if there is this thing that means absolutely nothing to you anymore but would kinda hurt the other person if they knew it, why bother? Everybody has one or two little secrets, I'm sure there's stuff in her past she preferred not telling you about (and that's normal IMO).

I'm sure you lying is not the only problem, a big part of why she's upset is that knowing about the other girl hurts.. which BINGO is the #1 reason why you didn't tell her.. but it is what it is and there's nothing you could have done to change it

 

thank you SO much everyone. it makes me feel good knowing i can talk to everyone here about not only cars, but other things in life.

But... she realized we've both been so distraught and exhausted and we both couldnt take this anymore, and not being together and having me build her trust would be so hard that she took me back. i can sleep and eat again, and more importantly so can she.

thank you all again for your advice, it really did help seeing other views on this. i'm so happy smile.gif